all you need are seeds…

socio-political self-help and stuff

poetry: favorite sweater

favorite sweater

i guess what you are witnessing

is the seeking of rejection

inside of acceptance.

reflections of a seven-year-old girl

waiting in vain for her daddy’s love

that like him, ain’t there.

glimpses of a twelve-year-old

chasing that boy over the hill

screaming out she don’t like you

knowing full well that i do.

because deep inside the surface

of this tough exterior

are those little girls.

lost. alone. afraid.

of letting anyone in.

because everyone leaves.

and everyone says that they won’t.

but everyone is gone now.

it’s what they are used to.

it’s what we’ve come to know.

it’s what i create

because it feels comfortable

like a favorite sweater

made of rose thorns

three sizes too small

yet worn everyday

believing that it can’t be taken off

because the opposite can’t hurt

nearly as much as the holes in my soul

plugged and pacified by this pain that i know.

pain that i use to keep you at bay.

help me to remove this hurt. this pain.

this tight ass sweater restricting my ability

to even dream of letting you in.

because even though i want us

more than anything else in my life,

i find myself

seeking that familiar comfort in chaos

that hurts so good but has gotten old.

the truth is…

i need you.

and i’d rather have your arms around me

than this stupid sweater

with all of its thorns

worn a few seasons too long.

it’s time i take it off.

and be nude. exposed. and vulnerable.

with you.

©2013 rachel m. walls

performed at m.a.d. studios/ augusta, ga

preach!

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This entry was posted on 2014/06/15 by in self and tagged , , , , , , , .

today’s energy

each day, i draw from a deck of energy cards. the card grounds me in existing energy and reminds me of what i must cultivate...

today's energy is:

resonance... mmm, you feel that?

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