socio-political self-help and stuff
sleeping on the job. it’s the only excuse i have for my absence and erratic postings of the past few months. honestly, i must admit that i am waking up from someone else’s dream… you see, i returned to guatemala earlier this year without any sort of plan. and what was happened was the sort of thing one should expect when they lack both clarity and direction…
i found myself doing someone else’s work. taking on the issues of others. working myself to the bone to the detriment of myself. and letting everything that i’d worked for and wanted just fall off. so many lessons in these words/experiences…
first. someone else’s dream is just that: their dream. don’t get me wrong, it’s perfectly okay to support, to assist, to help another achieve their goals. it’s not okay to make their dreams your own. especially to the detriment of your own zzzzz.
second. in the book that shares some of its name with this site, all you need are seeds…, i discuss how far i’ve come in this journey and how i am choosing myself above all else and blah, blah, i’ve got it together and i’m good now. hah! along the spiritual path are twists and turns that will shake, break, make, take, cake, rake and any other -ake (and /or ache) you can think of. sometimes repeatedly. no one is ever too “good” to learn valuable lessons.
third. when it’s between you and them, choose you. this was the hardest part of my decision. that last post of mine with the beautiful picture that i so wanted to call home, made it so incredibly hard to make the decision to leave a bad situation. and i can admit that i held on for much longer than i really wanted to – mostly because of obligation – “they need me,” right? sure they do(not). wasn’t nothing but ego talking… those folks didn’t know my name two days before (and quite possibly, after) i arrived. what makes me think i’m so valuable and necessary now?
and so. if you take nothing more from this errant post, here’s the most important nugget: unless you happen to be freddy krueger, stay out of other people’s dreams. live your own. choose your own. your dreams deserve your full and undivided attention.
i am awake.