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socio-political self-help and stuff

holiday healing

bookended by thanksgiving and new year’s day, the holiday season is officially upon us. which means a lot of things to a lot of people. for some, it’s a time of wonder and love and light. for others, it’s all about dread and doubt and wounds from the past. depending on how we were raised…

and our respective families. no one. i mean, no one can love you, hurt you, build you, break you or shake you like family. no other unit can bring simultaneous pride and shame, joy and pain like family. and no one will abuse and protect, share and be selfish like those people who share your dna. or married into it.

for those of us feeling a little salty towards the past, the holidays tend to magnify many hurt feelings that stayed dormant all year. those hurts often come out as denial, hurting others or absolute fear for anything that might be said or happen over the mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce. just a few years back, i was totally caught up in the dark side of the holidays. like not really wanting to be a part of anything that my family may have done. then totally choosing not to.

the thing is, i wanted to blame my family and its dysfunction for the feelings i’d carried with me every year. it was easier to look to them and place responsibility with those who said a hurtful thing, caused a little pain here and there, than to realize that i’d given my power to them when i focused on what they did. my journey has revealed that i am – and no one else – is responsible for how i feel. no matter what someone else does or says, it becomes my choice to absorb, respond, reflect, reject it or whatever. that i retain the power over my feelings – until i give it to someone else.

taking responsibility for my response and my feelings changed the game this holiday season. the energy felt lighter as i didn’t arrive expecting negativity or the same old. and i answered the question of “what does that have to do with me?” with “absolutely nothing” when faced with negative comments from my kinfolks. really made all the difference. with one dinner down, i look forward to next time…

wishing you and yours a peace-filled, loving and healing holiday season…

xxxxxxxxx

r

2 comments on “holiday healing

  1. Happy Runner
    2012/11/23

    Well said.

preach!

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This entry was posted on 2012/11/23 by in help, self and tagged , , , , , , , , .

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