all you need are seeds…

socio-political self-help and stuff

in numbers

Tomato plants

staking: because every thing needs a little help sometimes (photo credit: dockingman)

one of the hardest things to admit sometimes is that we need a little help.  i know this all too well.  it seems like this almost desperate need for independence is engrained in us at birth (picturing a toddler struggling to pull himself up onto a couch – without assistance).  is it a natural survival instinct? is it now imprinted on our DNA that in order to make it in this world, you’d better be prepared to do it on your own…

i ask this of you, because i am asking myself.  yesterday, i found myself in quite the foul mood. for reasons that i am still processing. my spirit begged me to reach out to a few of my friends scattered around this world. but i didn’t. i knew that i needed to reach out to someone, anyone. but i didn’t. and i am kind of glad – as it led me to this awareness…

since i was a little girl, the idea of what it means to be strong has played a constant theme. strong people don’t cry… strong people handle their problems on their own… strong people show no signs of weakness… i understand that mom only wanted to protect me from this harsh world. but what i learned from these silent mantras was quite unhealthy: keep your emotions bottled up, away from the world to see, and deny, deny, deny!

which brings me back to admitting that we need a little help. somewhere in the recesses of my mind, the thought of showing no weakness immediately appeared on the scene to bully my need for help. so as soon as i felt the need, it went away quickly, quietly… as it always does. and instead of speaking to someone who i am sure would have lifted my spirit, i held onto the foulness. thus bottling my emotions, away from the world, in total denial of what was really going on and what i needed. talk about programming.

again. i’m happy that it all happened. because maybe someone, somewhere out there can relate. and like me, realize that those strong people we were taught to be in our youth are about as mythical as the tooth fairy and easter bunny.  the strong who do survive – do so by relying on everything around them for support. by honoring their basic needs. by admitting when they just need a little help.

2 comments on “in numbers

  1. Beautiful, woman! Beautiful!

preach!

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This entry was posted on 2012/10/18 by in help, social and tagged , , , , , , .

today’s energy

each day, i draw from a deck of energy cards. the card grounds me in existing energy and reminds me of what i must cultivate...

today's energy is:

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